Today is 15th June 2005. I am 23 years and 5 days old .. hohoh old me.. ehehe.. though its already 5 days since my b'day, but I do still get some belated b'day wishes.. hoho

Anyway.. thanks to all who actually remembered to wish me "Happy Birthday". The earlier ones, or the latest one.. wouldn't mind ;).. It's the thought that counts..

Anyway, on the night of my birthday, I was actually quite prepared that there will be no one who would actually remember to wish me..Why? Because I'm used to it :)...Did I did something bad or forgot my friends birthday? ,, hmm not really.. but yeah, sometimes head just got clouded and yerp we are human being.. so it's not impossible for us to make mistakes. :">.. but then for me, I guess it is fated for me to be forgoten /or maybe I felt forgotten during my birthdays.. I'm doomed I gueess.. ahahaha.. During those last few years, when there was someone special in my life.!?? , (I repeat WAS) aha.... he also tend to wish later than my birthday. haha

pathetic? well that's the truth.. anyway, like I said, I'm used to it. So no harm.. haha.. So why am I writing these?? Nah, just killing time while waiting for my office hour to start..

So, again Thanks to those friends who wished me Happy birthday, Dela was the first person.. ehehe.. tak sangka :P... I was halfway sleeping (that midnight) because I don't want to be frustrated waiting for calls.. ahaha.. so I went to sleep early that night.. ahah(so not me)... I silence my phone, (but still holding it tight<-- haha again (a little bit of hope)).. eheheh and went to sleep..

then at midnight(10th June 2005).. Unexpectedly, it vibrated.. waaaaa.. I got my first b'day wish that night.. Thanks Dela. ;)...then, an unsure b'day wish from shah,(he wasn't sure whether it was my birthday or not.. ) eheh.. my little brother and sister wanted to wish me birthday too I guess, but as I was pretendting to be sleeping, so they wished me early in the morning.. ehehe :P.

then my grandaunt, and then reza sms. and i guess that was it for the day.. oh and yes my aunt.. anyway, I met faa that day.. ahah.. ni yang paling best... waaa faaa ko lupa nk wish aku b'day... ko lerr satu2nya kawan aku yang aku jumpa hari tuh, tp ko tak wish aku b'day.. ehehe.. I met faa that morning cos she was returning my camera. Malam tu again dia call aku, tp still lupa gak.. waaa faaa.. kijamnye.. uhuhuh..Anyway, faa thanks for the souvenier from Phuket.. (phuket kan?).. ehehe

Making an obvious yahoo status waiting for people to wish me b'day .. ahaha (ape2 je lerr aku nih)... peh tuh ade lerr beberapa org msg.. siti and ida thanks too.. (anyone I forgot.. hmm sorryy.. if I left out anyone)..oh and yes, my sahab wished me through friendster.

Nadia wished later that night :).. and fendi, tu pon lepas aku wat statement tak malu bitau dia hari tuh birthday aku.. ahahah (tak malunye aku..)2 days ago my bestfriend Rody, did too ;).. oh and Berry on the friendster too.. and last but not least. Sarah.. last night.. Thanks to all.. I understand.. korang busy.. ehehe no heart feelings...

so again here I end it with a very special thanks to all my frens ;).. muahhsss..

dengan ucapan.."weh jangan salah paham weh... aku tak marah pon kat korang :D" eheheh...

posted by Unknown at 9:03 am

Betapa Hipokritnye Jantan ituhh...

A few weeks back i was browsing my old documents in the cd and I cam across my old stuff with my x-bf.....

It was a website that he actually created for me for our hmmmm 2nd year anniversary? When I read the lines that he wrote which sounded something like "Saya rasa sangat bertuah sbb dapat org macam awak, baik,berpendirian tegas".. etc etc.. couldn't reacall...

I was like.. " How I thot it was just yesterday.. People change easily... The one that I thot loves me more than I love him, turned out to be the one that left me.."

ahaha.. when reading my words above, people might thing that it was only yesterday that he left me but fyi, it was already 2 years back... "Am I not moving on?"...

Why? Donno... I sometimes open his website and browse through the picture of his new gf. huh... sick kan. The one thing that I erm what should I say... no I'm not sakit hatii just that I am curious to know what happened to him..... I saw I montage that he dedicated to his gf for their 2nd year anniversary.. And apparently they started dating the same month that we broke up.

I recalled back when he says that the reason that he broke up with me was not because he got someone else... I bet at the time he broke up with me, he was already really close with that women...

Erk.. what can I do to move on? Am I really refusing to move on? I'm not actually still like him or what so ever. It's just that in my nature that I don't easily forget bad things that people did to me....

posted by Unknown at 12:06 am

"Behind These Hazel Eyes"
Sung By Kelly Clarkson Lyrics By Kelly Clarkson

Seems like just yesterday
You were a part of me
I used to stand so tallI used to be so strong
Your arms around me tight
Everything, it felt so right
Unbreakable, like nothin' could go wrong
Now I can't breathe
No, I can't sleep
I'm barely hanging on

Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes

I told you everything
Opened up and let you in
You made me feel alright
For once in my life
Now all that's left of me
Is what I pretend to be
So together, but so broken up inside
'Cause I can't breathe
No, I can't sleep
I'm barely hangin' on

Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes

Swallow me then spit me out
For hating you,
I blame myself
Seeing you it kills me now
No, I don't cry on the outside
Anymore...

Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes

Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes

posted by Unknown at 5:26 pm

Gone - Kelly Clarkson
What you see's not what you get,
With you there's just no measurement,
No way to tell what's real from what isn't there,
Your eyes they sparkled,
That's all changed into lies that drop like acid rain,
You washed away the best of me,
You don't care,
C/o
you know you did it I'm gone,
To find someone to live for in this world,
There's no light at the end of the tunnel tonight,
Just a bridge that I gotta burn,
you are wrong,
If you think you can walk right through my door,
That is just so you,
Coming back when I've finally moved on,
I'm already gone
Sometimes shattered,
Never open,
Nothing matters when you're broken,
That was me whenever I was with you,
Always ending,
Always over,
Back and forth,
Up and down,
Like a rolelr coaster,
I'm breaking that habit today,
repeat c/o
There's nothing you can say,
Sorry doesn't cut it babe,
Take the hit and walk away,
Cause I'm gone,
Doesn't matter what you do,
It's what you did that's hurting you,
All I needed was the truth,
Now I'm gone,
What's you see's not what you get.

posted by Unknown at 4:08 pm

Mood – Floating.. ahahha

I think I’ve been watching too much romantic series lately. Now I can’t stop thinking about the scenes from the series that I watched everyday.

As I am not doing everything everyday (unemployed), I sort of watched almost every single drama in the tv every day. (esp weekdays, as on weekend I tend to go out. Ehehe)

In the afternoon I watched a Korean drama series entitled “Crazy Wild Girl”. It was actually about bla..bla bla this girl work hard bla bla bla to help her sick mother and so on.. ahahahahah. I’m sure people will be bored if I go into any other details..

Well actually the best part of all was that there’s this handsome arrogant character in the series that I can’t stop thinking about. Waaaaa I’m talking nonsense.. Well anyway, I always get carried away when watching movies or dramas. But somehow I find that this arrogant character is somehow rather interesting.

Well kind of the arrogant person turning into such caring person. Ahaha.. kind of Mark Darcy in Bridget Jones Diary. But then this character named is In Woo. Well you might be thinking that I’m such a sucker for love stories. Well I agree with that. Ehehhe. Though I know that it was all just fiction. But I still can’t stop smiling when I think of the stories.

Then I will sort of day dreaming. Ehhee Rubbbish. Then at 6 pm I watched a Cantonese series. The title is “Fate Twister”.Also another love dramas. Attracted to the male character also. Ahahahahhahahahaha. What am I babbling about. Right after that at 7 pm I watched yet another Korean series; “The First Love of a Royal Prince”. This time not so much into the character. Just for the love of Korean dramas.

I am rather (I might say obsessed) very fond of Korean Fantasy Movie and dramas. Mostly, I enjoyed romantic comedies. Mostly, Korean love stories will be a bit comedy and a bit romantic. The kind of movies that you could just relax and watch. Where you will not need your brain to think of the ending.

I do watch other kind of movies too. Basically I can watch all sorts of movies. From action movies to dramas and musical. Just that when it come to love stories, I tend to get toooooo carried away.

Anyway, as I said, I’m kind of fond with the Korean dramas that I planned to learn Korean Language. But don’t know when. Maybe when I already have my own job, then I can earn money for the tution fees. So for now, I’m collecting money to buy the Korean phrase book, the one where tourist buy when they are visiting foreign countries. ;).. That’s the least I could afford for now.

posted by Unknown at 11:22 pm

huaaaaa.... :D... donno what to say whether it is a relief or anxious feeling. Just finish with all the presentation and final year project submission..

Definitely a bit of relief as i have finish the project. although i must say it was not the best product ever. But nevertheless I have tried my best.

Now is the part where I'm very anxious to wait for the result. i really really really really very very really hope that i will pass this semester.. huaaaa.... don't want to go through all this stuff anymore... huhuu

-Praying,hoping-

posted by Unknown at 9:32 pm

Hati...Nah, ambil la benda ni.Apa ni?Ini adalah hati. Hati aku.Hati kau? Hmm.. kenapa kau sudi kasi kat aku?Sebab kau dah jadik sebahagian dari aku.Kau lebih dari seorang kawan.Terima kasih.... ianya bererti. Aku terlalu menghargainya.Oh ye ke... tapi maaf.Untuk apa?Sebab, hati tu aku tak beri sepenuhnya.Cuma sebahagian saja...Maksud kau?Aku pernah beri hati aku kat orang lain juga.Dan aku tak pernah beri kesemuanya. Aku takut aku tiada hati untuk diri aku sendiri.Mungkin aku takut,hati itu tidak akan dijaga dengan sebaik-baiknya. Ianya bukan seperti barangan lain seperti duit, permata dan sebagainya.Hati ini penuh mistik, adakeajaiban yang tersendiri.Mistik? Kelakar bunyinya...Mungkin kelakar. Tapi itu realitinya.Ia juga berubah mengikut rentak hidup engkau.Rentak perasaan orang yang aku beri. Jika dia betul-betul ikhlas,hati ini akan indah dan bersinar.Tapi, jika dia mempersia-siakannya, hati ini akan malap.Mungkin akan terus mati untuknya.Ianya bukan satu benda yang percuma. Hati ini diberi hanya kepada insan yang terpilih sahaja.Insan yang istimewa.Dan kau adalah salah seorang daripada mereka, kerana naluri aku terlalu percayakan kau.Aku insan terpilih?Ya, kau yang terpilih. Hati ini sering bertukar-tukar mengikut perasaan orang yang diberikan.Ianya terlalu sensitif. Tapi ianya cukup kebal dan kental pada musuh aku. "Musuh", mungkin terlalu kejam untuk aku memperkatakan perihal mereka ini. Ianya tak berubah-berubah seperti yang terjadi jika hati ini diberipada orang yang istimewa.Hati aku hanya tinggal sebahagian sahaja. Ada orang yang tidak pernah memulangkannya, walaupun aku hanya pinjamkan sekejap. Ada yang pulangkan dengan penuh kelukaan. Ada yang sudi berikan sebahagiaan hatinya pula sebagai ganti. Dan jika kau nak tahu, setiap hati manusia ada nilai yang tersendiri.Setiapnya terlalu mistik!Cuma satu saja yang kau tak mengerti. Sekali hati itu terluka, kadangkala sukar nak mengubatinya. Ada kalanya, mengambil masa yang lama untuk itu.Dan bila tiba sesuatu yang tidak diingini, mungkin pemilik hati itu akan menyendiri buat seketika...sehingga hatinya pulih seperti sediakala.Hati yang diberi ini bukan untuk suka-suka. Ianya lahir atas satu kepercayaan. Dari situ, wujudlah kasih sayang. Jika hilang rasa percaya itu,maka sukarlah untuk hati itu kembali indah.

posted by Unknown at 12:41 am